It's all just a Part of Growing up
by peroxidepest17
Summary: Puberty, Vongola style.


**Title:** It's All Just a Part of Growing Up (in the Vongola)  
**Universe:** Reborn (TYL- almost)  
**Theme/Topic:** N/A  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Character/Pairing/s:** Vongola (with one-sided RebornxLambo and vague mentions of RyuheixHibari and YamamotoxGokudera)  
**Warnings/Spoilers:** crack, OOC, weirdness.  
**Word Count:** 2,175**  
Summary:** Puberty, Vongola style.**  
Dedication:** juin's birthday request! I am sorry I am lame and out of practice but I hope that even attempting this at least shows you how much I love you. 3**  
A/N:** FAIL. I JUST. FAIL. Also I am not finished with the TYL arc so if details are wrong then it's because this is an AU. Right. Yes.  
**Disclaimer:** No harm is meant by this!

* * *

After years of relative peace and quiet between Lambo and Reborn, the whole blood feud of yore between the two of them suddenly starts up again without warning or reason early one day in the spring, when Lambo is thirteen just on the cusp of fourteen. Tsuna innocently (unknowingly) walks into the kitchen for breakfast that morning, but rather than pancakes or waffles waiting for him like usual, he gets an eyeful of Reborn deftly dodging around a homing missile headed straight for him, courtesy of Lambo's rocket launcher.

Tsuna's first reaction—naturally—is to cover his head with his hands while screaming, "Reborn! What did you_ do!_?" at the top of his lungs.

Reborn is nonplussed as the missile impacts the wall behind him and a small explosion rocks the back of the reinforced steel bunker. "Stupid Tsuna," Reborn replies calmly, while kicking Lambo in the head and sending him crashing to the floor, "you really don't know anything, do you?"

"E…endure," Lambo stutters to himself from the ground, before dropping the rocket launcher and taking off, red-faced and teary and undoubtedly already thinking up his next super special sneak attack.

In the meantime, his carelessly discarded rocket launcher misfires upon impact with the kitchen tiles, sending another shell straight up and into the roof; when it hits the ceiling it rattles the room again and Tsuna yelps on instinct before ducking under the breakfast table. "Lambo's acting funny!" is all he can deduce from what is going on, and as far as he's concerned, Lambo suddenly taking up arms against Reborn again can only logically mean that Reborn must have _done_ something to deserve it.

Reborn kicks Tsuna in the head in response, and then proceeds to stand over his prostate body, the small Arcobaleno looking down at the Vongola Jyuudaime in a very disappointed (entirely judgmental) sort of way.

"With everything you've seen over the years I'm disappointed in how stupid you still are," Reborn tsks at him, and walks all over Tsuna's sternum and chin and face, until he is looking right down into Tsuna's eyes with Tsuna's face held between both of his little hands. "You need to pay attention to your family, Tsuna," he says in all seriousness, before smiling mysteriously and stepping on Tsuna's left eye so as he jumps back down onto the ground again.

"I don't get it!" Tsuna replies plainly, and struggles to a sitting position while rubbing his much-wronged eye. "It doesn't make sense! He hasn't done anything like that to you for _years_!"

Reborn just smirks and wordlessly toddles out of the kitchen, while a piece of the freshly decimated ceiling falls off of the roof and slams right into Tsuna's head.

Hard.

Tsuna sighs and thinks that all he'd wanted was breakfast.

* * *

Hours later, after he narrowly escapes a landmine Lambo left behind for Reborn in the bathroom and a trap full of poison arrow darts in the hallway, Tsuna takes refuge in the garden behind Hibari's quarters, hoping for some peace and quiet and a little bit of time in which to pick out the small bits of shrapnel that have imbedded themselves in his shirt.

The garden behind Hibari's dwelling is tranquil and soothing and (as expected), immaculately kept. As Tsuna watches the water flow through the little bamboo apparatuses and into the brimming koi pond, he lets himself take a breath and relax a little, for the first time since Lambo decided to go crazy this morning.

The peace lasts for about two minutes, up until the back wall of Hibari's house gets blown out by a big, yellow blast.

"You extreme bastard! I'm going to kick your ass!" Ryohei's voice follows hotly soon after, and Tsuna watches—wide-eyed—as Kusakabe comes rolling out of the freshly made hole in the wall with his hands over his head to shield from tumbling debris. Rather than panic however, there is a look of long-suffering on his face.

"Kusakabe-kun!" Tsuna calls, clearly alarmed by the sudden chaos as he stands to go greet Hibari's adjutant. "What's going on? Are you okay?"

Kusakabe sighs. "Sasagawa-san is just visiting Hibari-san this afternoon," he explains while slapping dust off his sleeves, as if that is all there is to it.

From inside the house, there is a crash, followed by Hibari's amused-sounding, "Come at me as you will, it's been far too long since I've ripped out a prey animal's throat."

"Why can't you just fuckin' have a peaceful drink with me, you extreme asshole!? I brought that wine all the way from Italy, you know!" Ryohei answers, his outburst followed by an explosion that Tsuna can only assume is another punch decimating another wall.

Kusakabe rubs his temples.

"Maybe we should stop them…" Tsuna starts, feeling vaguely terrified at the thought of what kind of damage two people like Hibari and Ryohei can inflict on each other if left to their own devices.

Kusakabe holds out a hand to stop him. "Just…let them be," he advises, quickly.

"But…"

"They just…need a few hours to fight and…well, you know. It's been about six months since Sasagawa-san has been back here, after all. I'll…be able to clean up well enough afterwards."

"But they'll _kill_ each other," Tsuna protests, and winces when he hears something a lot like cloth tearing and Ryohei's muffled, angry complaints about that being a new suit (also from Italy).

Kusakabe seems infinitely uncomfortable as Tsuna looks up at him, waiting for guidance. "They're just…saying their greetings to one another," he assures Tsuna after a beat, as vaguely as he can. "It happens every time Sasagawa-san visits."

Tsuna blinks at him, incredulous. "_Every time_?"

The taller man nods. "After a little while they'll be sitting around what's left of the table drinking wine and tea peacefully and completely out of energy. Then it will be…safe…for me to return. Relatively."

Tsuna looks up at him with big eyes. "You're sure it will be okay?"

Kusakabe nods. "Just…awkward."

Tsuna blinks. "Awkward?" That isn't, he thinks, the term he would use to describe whatever carnage must be going on in that room right now.

Kusakabe coughs. "Well, you know. Awkward because they… and you can tell just by looking at them that they just…"

Tsuna blinks some more. "Huh?"

Kusakabe fidgets and debates whether or not to answer truthfully or to just go ahead and _lie_, because clearly the Vongola Jyuudaime has _no idea_ what he is getting at (even though it should be fairly obvious by now).

But before he can decide what to do either way, the choice is made for him a second later, when more tearing cloth can be heard, followed by Ryohei's "Oi not yet, asshole, I…I… _nnnnngh…_" and Hibari's low, victorious laughter.

Tsuna stares.

Reddens.

"_Oh_," he says.

Kusakabe just slumps his shoulders a little helplessly and nods.

Tsuna backs away slowly. "I'll just be um…I'll be over there, somewhere," he says after a beat, and takes off running in the opposite direction.

* * *

When Tsuna makes it back to the relative familiarity of the training facilities down in one of the various sub-basements of Vongola headquarters, he is greeted by the comforting sounds of Gokudera's indignant growls and Yamamoto's good-natured laughter. Tsuna sighs in relief at the pair's familiar voices coming from behind the blast doors and decides to peek in on them to see how their weekly training session is going; at the very least he is fairly certain that watching them both be amazing fighters will help him scrub his brain clean of the mental images he's been conjuring up (unwillingly) with regards to what is probably taking place in Hibari's tatami room right now.

"Fuck you, that was unfair!" Tsuna hears Gokudera snap, first.

Yamamoto chuckles. "But you didn't say so when we made the rules for this round."

Thankfully, Tsuna thinks that the two of them sound the same as ever.

He pushes the door open a crack, to observe.

"You can't do that, baseball dumbass!" Gokudera growls obliviously from the other side, as he pulls some bandages taught around his right arm with his teeth. "These are not for your amusement."

Yamamoto just smiles back calmly and says, "But a promise is a promise, right?"

Gokudera sputters. "I didn't lose yet! I only had _one_ knee on the ground, baseball idiot! A down constitutes as at least _two_ knees and…"

Gokudera doesn't get to finish because Yamamoto grins and suddenly swipes his legs out from under him, laying him flat on his back on the ground mid-sentence.

"Does that count?" Yamamoto asks next, sounding as genial as ever as he sheathes his Shiguregintoki and offers Gokudera a hand up.

Gokudera—oddly enough—accepts Yamamoto's hand after a moment, but rather than let himself be helped up, he takes the opportunity to yank Yamamoto down instead, rolling the two of them so that he's pinning Yamamoto to the floor with his arms and legs.

"I said that was cheating!" Gokudera declares from on top, the bandages on his arms coming loose again while Yamamoto just laughs under him. "And just for that, I'm going to kick your ass doubly hard, baseball moron. You hear me?!"

"Sure, whatever you say," Yamamoto replies, and yanks on the end of the loose bandages so that Gokudera loses his balance and falls forward.

Onto Yamamoto's mouth.

Tsuna stares.

Gokudera sputters and pulls back. "Cheating!" he exclaims again, and fists Yamamoto's shirt two-handed with a low growl.

Tsuna moves to intervene, before Yamamoto gets punched in the face.

Or worse, blown up.

Except that Gokudera somehow lands on Yamamoto's mouth again, though Tsuna is fairly certain it was on purpose this time.

He stares some more.

When the two pull apart a little while later Gokudera abruptly lets go of Yamamoto's shirt so that his head plops back against the ground with a solid thunk, before climbing off of him and readjusting the ends of his bandages again. "Alright, dumbass, for this round, the first one who ends up on his _back_ loses, got me? No cheating this time either."

Yamamoto perks up at the prospect and gets to his feet too. "Same prize?" he asks, touching his slightly swollen bottom lip appreciatively.

"Same prize," Gokudera nods, and something about the look on his face makes Tsuna turn bright red.

He quietly spins around and leaves the room.

And nearly gets taken out by a laser-cannon trap that Lambo must have set up sometime this morning, after the landmine and the poison arrow darts.

Tsuna thinks that today just isn't his day.

* * *

"What is going _on_ here?" Tsuna demands in frustration the next morning, after being woken up from a creepy dream (in which Mukuro said something about still wanting to do horrible things to his body) by Lambo's latest attempt at ambushing Reborn while the Arcobaleno had been sleeping in the room around the corner from Tsuna's.

Which is why Tsuna is wide awake and in kitchen for breakfast early today, ranting to himself disbelievingly about Lambo while Fuuta calmly sips cocoa and reads the morning paper at the table across from him.

In the meantime, in the hallway outside—as if on cue— Lambo launches a sneaky flamethrower attack on Reborn as Reborn rounds the corner; the Arcobaleno responds by blithely dodging around the flames, rolling forward, and hitting a complicated succession of pressure points on Lambo's body, the results of which leave Lambo a twitching, writhing mess on the ground in the hallway just outside the kitchen door.

Reborn calmly continues on his way.

Fuuta just smiles at Tsuna from across the table as it all happens, looking fondly down at the tip of Lambo's shoe that he can see twitching just outside the doorway. "Eh, Lambo-chan is growing up, ne," he marvels to himself, around the rim of his cocoa cup.

Tsuna blinks. "Growing _up_?? He's acting just like he did when he was five!"

Fuuta giggles brightly. "Tsuna-nii, do you think that maybe Reborn-san will accept Lambo-chan's feelings one day?"

Tsuna gapes. "_Feelings_? He… wait. With _Reborn_?!"

Fuuta frowns a little. "You mean… you didn't notice?"

Tsuna can't believe what he's hearing. Or that Fuuta seems so calm about it. "Lambo likes Reborn?" he repeats one more time, except more slowly. Incase he still isn't quite awake yet.

Fuuta just nods.

Tsuna has a headache. "And he's showing it by _trying to kill him_? That doesn't make any sense!!"

Fuuta smiles again. "If Reborn returns his feelings one day," he sighs dreamily, "I think that would be wonderful, ne. Lambo-kun should be happy like everyone else in the family, don't you think, Tsuna-nii? Puberty is tough enough as it is, after all."

A moment.

And then Tsuna slams his head on the table. "Oh my god," he breathes, when it all (finally) starts to make sense (sort of, in a Vongola-only way), "We are the worst role models in the _world_."

Fuuta very politely inquires what it is that he could possibly mean by that.

**END**


End file.
